Travel solo at least once in your life

Life can seem so mundane and meaningless when you are just going through the motions of everyday living. Working your job, paying your bills and making face time with friends and family when possible. Eat, brush your teeth, and sleep, then repeat. It takes effort to pull your head out of the rat race and take the time to be grateful for what you are experiencing. “Stop and smell the roses” as they say. It is also easy to fall back into the state of normalcy, where I believe we all get dispirited with our situations. For some reason nothing is quite good enough the way it is and when we accomplish something, the high is short lived and we look for whats next.

I write this because this has been my experience. However, I do attempt to rectify that by making sure that I am providing myself with meaningful and fun experiences along the way, often putting me in debt. But hey, we are all going to die eventually, so you should at least enjoy some of the time that you have here and not just work the grind till you're dead! We all meet the same fate in the end, no matter how rich or poor. Don't let a trivial thing like money stop you from enjoying your life. “If there is a will there is a way.” Just don't go overboard with expenses. The best ways to save for that trip is to quit drinking and to not eat out very often. Trust me, its worth it.

So whats with all of the existential drama that I am unfolding before you? Well my guess is that you can relate. So what is it that we do about this? Experience life, get out of your comfort zone and feel gratitude for your time on this earth. You were not born to be miserable. A major way that you can accomplish this is to travel. Especially to a place where you do not speak the language. Visit outside of the normal touristy areas and meet the people living out their lives there. The first time I did this I traveled to Belize and while I was down there I got SCUBA certified. I highly recommend it and talk about getting out of your comfort zone, scuba diving is intense and otherworldly.

A year later, I began writing the majority of this blog while sitting on a rooftop terrace at an Airbnb in Montréal, Canada. After I visited Montréal, I traveled to Boston, MA to experience that city as well. At the moment I couldn't really afford to do this trip, but I'd make up for it eventually and the opportunity presented itself, so I just did it. To save some money I booked my stay several miles/kilometers from downtown Montréal, in a neighborhood that I wouldn't have picked if I looked at it first hand. I then made myself learn about and use their public transportation system, to save money as well. This experience completely forced me out of my shell and comfort zone. It's not the first time I have done this to myself and it will not be the last. I traveled solo and I do not speak a lick of French. Luckily for me, many people around the world also speak English. Being multilingual, at least bilingual, should be obligatory in the U.S. by the way. Mandatory in early and continued education, like it is in many other countries, but that's a discussion for another day. I'm just saying that the ability to communicate when traveling abroad is essential and being the “typical American that can only speak English” is rather embarrassing to me.

Truthfully, I should have done quite a bit more research before I showed up here. I was kind of lost when I was fresh off a bus from Burlington, Vermont because I realized that my phone no longer works in another country (of course I ran out of data also) and I didn't exchange my U.S. currency for Canadian. ROOKIE MISTAKES!! However, I learned a few quick travel lessons right away and was forced to figure it all out alone. It is in these moments of uncomfortability that we are strained to problem solve and it truly forces you out of that bubble of everyday normal life. With that experience at the start of my trip I was given a choice, find my bubble and then stay there, or figure it out and just do it. It is in that mindset of “just do it” and we face our fear, that we genuinely feel alive. I now have a story to tell everyone instead of saying to someone “same shit different day”.

In Montréal, I walked through the most amazing botanical gardens I have ever seen!

I hiked Mount Royal and around downtown. I caught a spectacular light show called ARUA at the Notre-Dame Basilica and stumbled upon a fireworks display on the St. Lawrence River. I just so happen to book my travels during the month where Montreal hosts a comedy festival that lasts for around 20 days, Just for Laughs. I had no clue this was going on until I arrived in the city. I was able to see one of my favorite comedians, Jim Breuer, at a tiny dive rock bar called Katacombes. He was basically working out new materiel for his next comedy special. It was so informal and small and I sat at the bar literally 15 feet away from him. I randomly wondered around the festival after catching Jim's set and just so happened to stumble upon a free Beach Boys concert, which was part of the festival. If I didn't take myself out on my own to wander the city, I would have missed out on some of these incredible experiences.

After my stay in Montreal, I jumped on a bus back to the U.S. and headed down to Boston with a sense of confidence that I had been missing for the better part of 3 years. Bigger than that, if I continued to worry and dwell about being alone and single at 35 years old and afraid to go out on my own, I would have never had these amazing experiences. Sure, at times I felt a bit lonely and it would have been nice to share that trip with someone. However, I truly grew as a person doing this trip completely solo. Finding comfort and fun with myself. Taking myself out for dinner and basically dating myself. I truly learned the most about self-compassion during this trip. I went whale watching and even caught 2 concerts (Radiohead and the Arctic Monkeys) where I met some fun people.

So I want to discuss with you, what if there is nothing (no “thing”) that is truly missing in our lives? That emptiness inside of us that we all feel from time to time. Maybe there genuinely is no hole there at all. It is just a pit of fear that we are afraid to face. To sincerely face the self, become friends and learn to love yourself is one of the most courageous things that you can do. It's the sense of contentment that we strive for. It's letting go, living in the moment and coddiwompling through life that we all need. The prescription for our struggle is meaningful experiences and the best way to take it is by traveling. Even if it isn't abroad, find a place within your budget and just go. Then keep doing it.

P.S. What's fun is I am now finishing up this blog (editing and posting it) while on a work trip in Puerto Rico. I do have a work friend here, but I am spending about a third of the time by myself. I have been working on my Spanish, even though almost everyone here speaks English too. I'll tell you that if want to really get out of your comfort zone, go gambling in a casino where people are speaking a different language. Its a bit intimidating at first but nearly everyone is going to be nice and its going to be a good time if you are in the right mindset. It has been fun to sit back and listen to everyone speaking Spanish and trying to work out what they are talking about. It's helping me learn the language. It makes me want to travel to Spanish speaking countries even more. There is just something great about waking up in new places that fills me with joy. I have lined up a trip to Brazil next for school, so I am learning a bit of Portuguese too. JUST DO IT!

~Chad Wickham

Environmental Vibrations LLC

Waking up in Puerto Rico